2356 Moreau St.
._April 2000 Montreal Quebec
HXW-2M5
Tel. 514429-5825
Dear Oprah ,
Thank-you has to be the first word out
of my mouth . Thank-you so , so very much for the
magazine , of
which I unfortunately was not able to pick up a copy of - before the ninth (9th) of May and please excuses
me for thinking it was necessary to
send you yet another letter a few days before that.date . What a
mistake that was (sanding that letter) because now today Friday the twelfth (12th) with "0" "The Oprea
Magazine" practically still in front of me, I can see just how hard your people surely must have worked
to get it off the ground . WOW! and the
utmost heart-felt congratulations ! Please allow me to explain Oprah because not only do I now feel like some sort of
childish and absolute idiot but I
suspect the sending of that second letter , might
appear to you to have been
somewhat of an.offeneive act on
my part , for which I again apologies .
Without being able to have the
"0 Magazine" in front of me before May ninth
(9th) and hearing nothing about the launching except from what I was able to learn from the
television . I had no way of
realising all the conformation I required - was the actual
magazine launching itself . Before that I had all these wishful and grand
ideas that you were going to spend even more of your valued:, time to send me some
sort
of hand written thank-you note or something . As I said , I can perhaps even
without
really trying prove myself quite an idiot at times and only hope you may some day find it within yourself to forgive ma for some of the things I was starting to
think ; as I do truly , truly apoligise
Part of the problem had to do with the fact that the
magazine was almost instantly sold out the moment it hit the stands . So I had to put
an order in at a local book-store , in the event that they might receive
a second shipment . In my mind I saw all
these people reading the magazine , while half expecting a silly-little , poorly-written
story entitled "The Comity" was going to be accepted but I still had no
word and no way of finding out . Your telephone lines
you must know are inpossabul to get through , so I
had no way of contacting you using
that procedure ; unless I was prepared to latterly sit at the
phone all day lane - only to risk being cut-off in the end . I've
had that experience happen to me
before by other people and it is not pleasant . Anyway , with
the passing of each day after the seventeenth (17th) of April and the launching
of "0" , I became more and more convinced
somebody on your staff had
opened that original letter I sent'
to you,and decided to claim the idea for a magazine was their own ; without ever
passing my letter on to you . So naturally , I am ashamed to admit , I assumed I was being riped-off yet another time ,
Another thing that didn't help my
nervousness or paranoia had to do with the fact that now - when thinking
about it , not surprisingly "The
Comity" was rejected . Rejected night be a harsh ward for what actually happened but on May
fifth (5th) I was informed
that Harpo Productions Inc. dosn't accept unsolicited
manuscripts
. That was all very well and fine but considering I did plant the
seed from which a mighty magazine has grown , I couldn't
understand how it would have been out of place to expect
somebody to spend a measly two dollar (2.oo) to send back that manuscript if
that was thair intention , Believe it or not however, the only reason I
sent "The-Comity" was to better understand how your mail receivership
department
worked , I was wondering if when somebody sends a manuscritp or letter weather it
first has to go through a panel of judges who's job it
is to be responciple to decide if the material
is worthy of your attention , That is why if you have therefore noticed , the envelope in which the original letter was contained in had no postage
affixed to it . I simply reeled that letter and placing it in a larger
envelope with the manuscript - mailed it to you ; perhaps in hind-sight without thinking
the situation through too clearly , We will realize also of course Oprah s that it was only after
three (3) tedious handwritten drafts
and a final type-written copy that that letter was completed and so therefore I
might have been showing sizes of exhaustion ; though I an not prepared to claim that an excuses for my carelessness or apparent lack of judgement , to my credit
however . I know I took a good two (2) days and the same amount of envelope re-openings before mailing the letter and manuscript to
you , So by that time I
did at least expect or suspect it had been posted to you in the nose acceptable manner possible ,
Anyway since then I have sent you another manuscript of
which I started right after sending you that original letter ; which counidenctely was also finished on the fifth (5th) of May - when I received the rejection notice , This is the letter
for which I am now apologising , because it was with this second manuscript I sent
along a copy of the first original letter and a three page handwritten note - trying to remind
you that nobody had contacted me and that I didn't understand who was trying to
claim credit for my idea , This time I am not certain the letter was
put into a sepreat seeled envelope however , in spite of the fact that probably it should have been ; though I imagine only time will tell . Incidentally I personally found the quotation in "0" by George Bernard Shaw especially interesting., reverent to " if you can't take
Mohammed to the mountain
you
must bring the mountain to Mohanaid , since I imagine
you must realize that is exactly what I am attempting myself .
This second manuscript Oprah , for a number of
reasons is probably the most important thing I have
ever written up to this point in
my life ; as it is intended to be the actual back-drop to my launch into the politicial forum , In other words this story "It's
Still All Up For Grabs" does more than partly explain
ti how this person I Ritte Shalby , will scratch and claw
his way onto the politicial
stage but it also has maret in explaining the phenomenon of who I
am or at least
perceive
myself to be , Since I have not yet publicly traditionally announced my
intention to almost marraciliousely become this countries next
prime-minister
the story was
undertaken in a
manner as though it possibly were fictional and actually about somebody else ;
though anyone who is able to read
between the lines is welcomed to correctly
assume Ritte Shalby actually id myself and that every word contained within the story is literary fact o
What can I perhaps
say other than that I am a completed man living
in a likewise world , when it is considered
what it is that I am after . Presently I believe it is safe to say
people don't believe people like myself become Prime-Ministers . I however am determined in spite of the
blackness of my skin and the lack of a tridiehional edagacation , to prove these
same people mistaken . Personally I believe in this Mr. Canada
Thing even being the one in a million shot it is , more than in my chances at
winning the lottery ; though I know were I to have played the lottery
I would have won that too
Perhaps I should
now explain what it is I am attempting to show through
the writing of
this manuscript "It's Still All Up For Grabs" . Firstly I want to make it clear
that Ritte Shalby or more sepifically myself is a morally integrate person ; thus my refusal to
undergo various law-suits - even when winning would have proven so easy . I think there id
real substance in how I explained the way in which I
erratacatted illness from my body
simply by using my mind . In other words physician heal thy self . The part about
the U.F.O. incident almost appears to give me a phieicial connection to God
Himself or the forces that be in this universe . The fact that the
sighting took place nearly twenty-two (22) years ago
and
I never saw the necessity to tell anybody up to this point is an attempt to prove my
discretion. The part about the sheep-ranch revealed that even a quarter of a century ago when I was still very young , I none the less understood the art of munulaption when
it was for a good cause . These are of course qualities I believe to be important for a primeministurial candidate to
possess while the paragraph referring to my opinions regarding the
legalization of marijuana is simply meat to raise
conterversery
. Of
course I alto hope the story will also prove to be both an
enlightening and perhaps interesting little read .
You could say Oprah
, this
latest story empowers me and gives me the authority or capability to carry my politicial plan to it's next most logician platform o It
allows me not to need waste time writing little stories and concentrate more hopefully on a well earned politicial column - on
topics
meat to eather shape public opinion or
form politicial policy ; after the question has both been asked and answered as to
who I am and why I should be taken seriously with clarity or in other words , this piticular story id sent to limit the ability for people in the future to criticise
the
moral message regarding the subjects in which I choose to write o So I can only hope
this story "It's Still
All Up For Grabs" of which I sent in last week , id still kicking
around your offices
in Chicago at " Harpo
" somewhere and that you might be able to read it Oprah and hopefully
give it approval for publication in " 0 "
Well now Miss Winfrey , I guess a large
portion off the reason I write this piticular letter best
now be explained , In truth , what it is I now ask even at this late date is though "0" were
almost a new toy of which up until now I have been afraid to utilizie in the event that
it might get broken , as the following , Can you see your way Oprah in publishing
" My Story " and after reading the enclosed paper on "Gun Control" offer me a monthly column ? I might add
that "gun control" is only the first installment of a three part package of which I would hope to publish in the upcoming June edition.,. The other two topics are one "abortion laws"
the other "drug
legalization" , I would have had then reedy now but that at was first necessary
to send you this letter ; besides the
fact that I was waiting
so long to pack up the recently launched magazine . At any rate ,
you can be certain that once I type this up -
is at would never fit into in envelope
otherwise and I would never thank of subjecting you to such a long session an trying to comprehend my personal poor hind-wrattang , I
am going to immediately start working on those other two papers . All
three (3) of these mentioned papers of course explain my personal
and moral position , as would
any following articles . In either
words what I would be attempting an this column - as I have alreaddy explained an "It's Stile All Up Foe Grabs" I would laterally be running or campaigning foe that most
high politicial office without undergoing the nasty , demisculitang necessasaty of a tradashaonal ,
tedious cross-country , hand-shaking , baby-kissing campaign , It's
not that I feel myself to be so fir
above everyone else that t can't kiss babies however but I would find it more than slightly objectionable , were at to be that the only way an which I could claim my dream ment that I had to be an such constant close
proximity with the public -
as though almost inviting possible assassination
Of course my ultimate dream would be that after my column
is read an " 011
,
at wall be taken up in
syndication,. In that way not only will the exclusive
people
who can afford to pick up a copy of your magazine be able to read me but so will anyone
else simply by spending thirty-five cents (35C) for a news-paper I imagine I would never need more than a page , two (2) it
the most - before I would be able to transform public opinion into
allowing me to become this countries
next Prime-Minister ,
I must admit above aid beyond ale these
former requests Oprah , another
thing I am asking is can you provide me with a more
dirrect way an which I may have fecture articles more personally addressed to you
yourself . This way I wale not have to
worry about papers being lost , trashed
, stolen or put aside - there-by dammaging my politicial possabaliies .
It is stile hoped that the staff at "Harpo Productions Inc," don't yet
realize exactly is to whit it is that I
am up-to and that if found worthy after reading the
forth-comming numerous articles you can simply inform our/your friends an New York that
these papers are went to be published .
After finally being able to pick up
" 0 " " The Oprah Magazine " Miss
Winfrey , I have
to admit there is one other thing
I wish for ; though I hope the asking of this question will not sound too
presumptuous on my pert . Anyway what
1 am hoping for is that over time " 0 " will not turn into that most dreadful and literary inept thing of all -
that being a publication of which is
interested only in the bottom-dollor . With
the apparent amount of commercial supporters whom have agreed to come on board however and participate however . I don't see how the bottom dollar could
ever be anything you need worry about and I am sure it will be in the end
nothing more than a matter of down-sizing present advertisement space , adding
somehow even more pages or
some other remedy not yet thought of - it being of course only the first publication .
So again-'o congregations on a.job
so
very well-done.,
Anyway what I am
trying to say is that I hope et least a fair amount of the
article contributors to "
0 " will be combined from the pool of
presently talented unknown writers ,
artists , poets , cartoonists and the like
. This way I believe
, as I am sure so do you , "0" will forever be reguarded as a
magazine of high moral fibor because
it will be responciple more than any other magazine on the market today for allowing these artists to
practice their crafts and claim
a career in their chosen field of course this call certainly is up to
you
yourself to make
Oprah-, and it is nearly a suggestion on my part in the event that I might prove helpful after all that you have done for me and my
country .
In closing , I
must say in case it has not been reported in The United States , I have but a bakers -dozen (13) months
to go about getting my lame added to the Canadian
national/fedrail ballot as a contender for prime-Minister
.
In June two-thousand and one (2001) our present
P.M. The Right Honorable Mr. Jean Chretien or Dr.
John as I reefer to him,as you know , since that is the politest way I know
of calling kit a (quack) well he has just last Friday , finally
, practically publicly announced his intentions to run for
yet another unimaginative
,uninteresting unimpressive , `uninspired turn.If you know anything about Canadian Politics as I an sure you do , undoudtabuly you are earcasitcly-saying
as am I , supprize , supprize , supprize . It's not as though
the man would ever do anything like call en early election or anything as crass as that , even when
he is up in the polls but rather wait till his turn nuns out . Well that
is
his right so whet can you do? Anyway the point is ,-I don't believe
there is anything to worry about
as far as my own
politicial abilities go regarding
my eventual claiming of office . This fast simply seems to give me more time to get it right . Besides , as
I see it , if a week in politics is considered to be a long time , you can just imagine what
I
will be able to accomplish in e
whole year ! That is of course if I
am not ready to have the man kicked out of ?parlement and the
residence at ty four (24) Sussex Drive before that late date
Respectively Yours.